


home is wherever i'm with you

by wafflesofdoom



Series: not quite a week [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Divorce, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Relationship Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 09:03:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9994532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflesofdoom/pseuds/wafflesofdoom
Summary: “So I just sign here and I’m divorced?”“Yes.”Aaron looked down at the piece of paper, shaking his head. “I want to see him, before I sign it.”“Mr Dingle -““Either I sign this face to face with my husband, or I don’t sign it at all.” Aaron pushed the paper away from himself, his wedding ring glinting in the sunlight. “You can tell his solicitor that. I want a meeting with Robert there, or I’ll drag him through the divorce courts.”the one with the divorce, the hard conversation and finding their way home to each other.





	

**Author's Note:**

> written for day two of robron week, for the marriage prompt (apparently i can't write anything except angst this week.)
> 
> warnings in the end note!

_**"Please leave a message after the tone."**  
_

 

 _I’m sorry._  

_I’m sorry it was my fault, in the end._

_I’m sorry you felt like you had to leave._

_I’m sorry I was the one who broke us._

_I’m just really sorry, Robert._

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aaron sat in his solicitors office, squinting as the bright early summer sun streamed in the window. He couldn’t quite believe that he was here, that this was all really happening - he’d hoped, for a long time, that they’d be able to fix things. 

Apparently not.

“Now, Mr Dingle - if you could just sign here, here and here, we’ll file the divorce papers with the court, and that’ll be the end of it.”

“Don’t I have to see him? Before we sign all this.”

“Mr Sugden has given all power of attorney to his solicitor, so no.” Kevin shook his head. “There’s been no problems between you when it comes to assets, no issues of contention. It’ll be a quick and easy process, which is all you can really ask for in these situations.”

It’s not like they had a lot of assets they’d bought together over their overly short marriage. Robert was happy to hand over his share of the scrapyard, as long as Aaron bought him out of his share of the Mill, and that was that. 

“So I just sign here and I’m divorced?” 

“Yes.”

Aaron looked down at the piece of paper, shaking his head. “I want to see him, before I sign it.”

“Mr Dingle -“

“Either I sign this face to face with my husband, or I don’t sign it at all.” Aaron pushed the paper away from himself, his wedding ring glinting in the sunlight. “You can tell his solicitor that. I want a meeting with Robert there, or I’ll drag him through the divorce courts.”

“You don’t have grounds to do so, Mr Dingle.”

“I’m paying you enough money to find grounds for it, aren’t I?” Aaron shook his head. “I’m not signing until I see Robert. So you can talk about quick and easy all you want, but I’m not signing it.”

Kevin sighed. “Mr Sugden is currently resident in the Netherlands, and has told his solicitor he has no intention of returning to Emmerdale.”

The Netherlands?

He’d made sure to put a lot of distance between them, hadn’t he?

Aaron shrugged. “I’m sure he can get a flight back to England from there.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He hadn’t exactly been sure his ultimatum would work, but three weeks after his meeting with Kevin, he’d gotten a call to say Robert had agreed to a face to face meeting, and would be at the solicitors office in Hotten that coming Tuesday.

“Is seeing him such a good idea, love?” Chas asked, watching as Aaron unlocked his car. 

“Mum, I haven’t seen him since everything happened. I want to apologise, properly.” Aaron said. “I owe him that much, at least.”

“Aaron, love - he left without a trace in the middle of the night. I don’t think he wants to see you, or anyone else, for that matter.”

“I’m not divorcing him unless I see him.” Aaron said simply. “You told me once, that after everything we’d been through, we couldn’t just let petty things end us.”

“What you did wasn’t petty, Aaron.”

Aaron’s stomach churned. “I love him, mum. I want to see him, and apologise. I’m not going into this meeting with any hope of him giving me another chance, yeah? I just want to say I’m sorry.”

Chas still looked reluctant. “Let me know how it goes,” she sighed. “I haven’t told Liv he’s back.”

“Don’t, she’ll only kick off.” Aaron said, sliding behind the wheel of his car. His stomach was a pit of nerves as he made the drive from Emmerdale to Hotten, parking outside his solicitors office. 

He didn’t know what sort of car Robert had, these days. Probably a rental car, he mused as he made the short journey up a flight of stairs to his solicitors office. 

“Aaron, come with me.” Kevin greeted, leading him into a small conference room. Robert was there, sitting with his solicitor, and Aaron felt his heart go into overdrive as he looked at the man he’d married only three short years ago.

He looked good.

Whatever new life he was living, it suited him. His hair was getting slightly longer, still short at the sides, but his fringe was soft against his forehead, slightly spiked up. He was wearing a patterned white shirt, and he had the beginnings of a tan, a new smattering of freckles across his nose. 

He looked great, Aaron decided as he stood, frozen in the doorway.

Robert glanced at his solicitor. “Can we get on with this?” he asked. “I’ve got to be somewhere.”

He sounded like the old Robert, cold and uninterested, but Aaron knew him well enough to know it was an act. 

“Are you ready to sign, Mr Dingle?” Robert’s solicitor asked. 

Aaron shook his head. “Can we have five minutes to talk, please?”

“No.” Robert said decisively. “I said we’d only talk through our solicitors, and you agreed to that. I’ve already had to reschedule a load of meetings so I could fly back for this!”

“Well, I’m not signing then.” Aaron could hear Kevin audibly sigh behind him, knowing he was doing nothing but causing hassle for his solicitor. He wondered why Kevin was always so willing to take on his cases, from the appeal to the divorce.

He was clearly a glutton for punishment. 

Robert shifted in his seat, talking quietly to his solicitor.

Aaron could _never_ remember her name.

“Five minutes, and then we really need to get a move on with this.” She said, standing up. “Kevin, can we talk for a second?”

Aaron waited for them both to leave before he spoke, looking at Robert. “You look good,” he said softly.

“Why are you doing this?” Robert asked. “You couldn’t just sign the stupid papers and be done with it, could you?”  


“I wanted to apologise, face to face.” Aaron said, crossing the room slowly. “You never answered my calls.”

He’d left Robert dozens of voicemails, the first few weeks after he’d left, begging him to come home, apologising. 

Robert hadn’t answered a single one. 

Robert crossed his arms over his chest, Aaron noticing he was still wearing his wedding ring. “I didn’t want to talk to you,” he said, trying to keep a neutral expression.

“So you’re happy to just end it here? Sign the divorce papers and be done with it?”

“Do I look like I’m happy?” Robert raised his voice. “Aaron, I never wanted this. I never wanted any of this. But you _hit_ me, and I wasn’t going to stick around for it to get worse.”

Aaron winced. “It wouldn’t have.”

“How do you know that?” Robert was angry now. “I was your husband, Aaron, and all I was trying to do was help. I know you went through hell when you were inside, but I didn’t deserve what you did.”

They’d gotten married for real, when Aaron was released, during those blissful first few months when he’d been pretending everything was fine, like what had happened when he was inside hadn’t affected him.

It was six months into their marriage when Aaron started icing Robert out, closing in on himself.

A year into their marriage he started self harming again, and eighteen months in, he was hospitalised. 

Robert had gotten him sectioned. 

Aaron had been so angry, so furious with his husband that he hadn’t spoken to him for weeks, even after he’d been released.

It had all come to a head one night at home, Liv at Gabby’s. 

Aaron had just lost it.

He hadn’t meant to.

They were arguing, _screaming_ at each other, Robert in tears and Aaron crying, and all of a sudden he’d punched him.

Aaron still remembered the shock on Robert’s face when his fist had collided with his jaw, the hurt look in his eyes. 

He’d regretted it instantly, of course he had. Aaron had cried and begged and pleaded with Robert, telling him how sorry he was, and Robert hadn’t said a word, he didn’t say a single word - but Aaron had woken up to an empty house and that was the last he’d heard from him until he’d filed for divorce. 

“I’m sorry.” Aaron couldn’t hide the tremor from his voice. “God, Robert, I am so sorry.”

“That doesn’t change the fact you did it.” Robert said. “I tried so hard to help you, Aaron. I didn't want to do what I did, but I had to - you were putting yourself in danger, you had a _breakdown_. Everyone agreed with me, your mum was there when I made the phonecall, but you didn’t blame any of them.”  


“It was easier to blame you.” 

“Always is, isn’t it? Robert Sugden, always the disappointment.” Robert said bitterly. “Why does everyone think I left?”

Aaron shrugged. “I told mum what really happened, and Vic and Adam, and Liv. I didn’t bother telling anyone else, it was none of their business.”

Robert laughed humourlessly. “I’m sure everyone thinks it was my fault.”

Aaron bit his lip. Chrissie had said as much, one night in the pub, and Aaron had snapped, yelling at her that it had been his fault, that he’d ruined their marriage, that he’d been the one who’d fucked it all up.

Cain had dragged him into the backroom before he could say any more. 

“No,” Aaron shook his head. “Everyone knows this was my doing. I think they think it was an affair or summat, but they all know you left because of me.”

Robert was silent.

“The Netherlands?”

“I’ve got a mate, he offered me a job with a transport company. I travel a lot, but I live in Rotterdam, mostly.”

Aaron nodded. “Do you like it?”

“It’s not exactly home, is it? When I married you it was because I saw the rest of my life panning out in Emmerdale, so it’s taken some getting used to.” Robert admitted, looking downcast. “I miss it here.”

“You should come back.” Aaron said. “Not for me, or anything, but because it’s your home. You should have never left it.”

“Coming back would be too hard, Aaron.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m always going to love you, aren’t I?” Robert sighed. “I’m always going to bloody love you, no matter what happened between us.”

“I wish I could take it back.”

Robert was quiet for a second. “I think about it a lot, you know. How you’ve done worse to me, that day on the side of the road, when you found out about Katie. I wondered why one punch made me leave.”

“Why did it?”  


“Because we were supposed to be different, marriage was supposed to make us different, make us better.” Robert said. “I didn’t want to turn into the Aaron and Robert we used to be, because we weren’t good for each other.”

“I’m no good without you.”

Robert looked at him properly. “What do we do then?”

Aaron glanced at the divorce papers. “I know I can’t take back what I did, but I’d spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if I could. I’ve been going to counselling, since you left, to work through everything. I’ve got all these coping mechanisms now, and they help.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Robert said, sincere.

“We could sign those papers.” Aaron said quietly. “Or we could leave it a few more weeks, and you could let me buy you a coffee and we could talk, properly.”

“And then what?”

“Then you can decide. I’ll sign the papers if you ask me to, but I don’t want to give up on our marriage, Robert.” Aaron said, trying to put how he felt into words. “I feel like I haven’t slept properly since you left, and all I can think about is that look on your face, when I punched you.”

“What look?”

“You were scared of me.” Aaron blinked back tears. “I don’t want you to be scared of me.”

“I’m not. I wasn’t.” Robert shook his head. “I was shocked, Aaron.”

“I don’t want you to leave again.”

“I don’t want to go.” Robert said quietly, looking at the divorce papers himself. “Strange how it all comes down to one signature. Five years of our lives, and one signature could end it all.”

“Our relationship is worth so much more than that.”

Robert looked as though he was thinking. “One coffee,” he said. “And then I’ll decide.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Aaron felt like he was about to burst. It’s not like it fixed anything, or made anything right again, but one coffee meant there was still a _chance_ and Aaron could take any chance with Robert he could get. 

“I’m sorry.” he said again, his voice quiet.

“I know,” Robert replied, standing up. “I think I always knew.”

Aaron gave him a watery smile. “They’ve opened a Starbucks, in Hotten.”

“All very metropolitan, innit?”

Aaron nodded. “Liv’s always stealing money from me to buy those stupid iced drinks you got her hooked on.”

Robert’s face softened at the mention of Liv. “How is she?”

“She misses you.” Aaron said. “She hated me, for a while, for making you leave.”

“I hated you for it too.” Robert said. “Still loved you though, despite it all. Always will, I think.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One coffee turned into three, and somewhere along the line, they started fixing everything Aaron had broken. It was six months before Robert moved back to the village (and into Victoria's spare room, again) and it took another six for them to decide that they were going to give their relationship another chance, on the condition they'd go to marriage counselling. 

The divorce papers were still there, still ready to be signed, but Robert never asked him to. Aaron doesn’t think he would have ever been able to do it, honestly, _willingly_ sign away the best thing that had ever happened to him, his marriage with Robert.

It wasn’t easy, fixing their relationship, but nothing that was worth it ever was, and they _were_ worth it.

They’d promised they’d always find their way home to each other, after all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
****

 

**Author's Note:**

> referenced self harm, a referenced mental breakdown (neither are explicit) and reference to a time where aaron hit robert.
> 
>  
> 
> this was originally meant to be a much longer story that I just don't have the time to write at the moment, but I hope you enjoyed all the same.


End file.
